|
RC-AKIC Forums
| JOKE TIME THREAD |
Posted by : imthegirl
Post Date : February 18, 2009 03:17:14 PM |
Moderators :
|
|
| |
Posted by :
imthegirl |
| February 18, 2009 03:17:14 PM |
Location :
Unknown |
Aherm.
Since this is for miscellaneous topics , I suppose we can post fun stuffs here? i really do hope so.
AKICians and other members,
this is the jokes thread. You can post any jokes here.
No bad words or green jokes please. |
|
|
| Re : |
Posted by :
imthegirl |
| February 18, 2009 03:22:21 PM |
Location :
Unknown |
medyo mahaba ito... hehehe
Amo 1: tol, lam mo napaka-bobo talaga ng boy namin
Amo 2: wala yan sa boy namin
Amo 1: (tinawag ang boy niya)
Boy 1: sir, bakit po?
Amo 1: eto ang piso, bili ka ng apat na case ng beer
Boy 1: opo sir. sige. (sabay alis)
Amo 1 (sa amo 2): sabi ko sa yo e... napaka-bobo di ba?
Amo 2: wala yan sa boy namin (tinawag boy niya)
Boy 2: bakit po sir?
Amo 2: punta ka sa office... tignan mo kung nandun ako
Boy 2: opo sir (sabay alis)
Amo 2: oh di ba, mas bobo
habang naglalakad... nagkasalubong amg dalawang boy...
boy 1: lam mo tol, kabobo talaga ng amo ko. biruin mo, binigyan ako ng piso pambili ng 4 na case na beer. pano ko kaya dadalhin yon?
boy 2: mas bobo yung amo ko. pinapunta ba naman ako sa office para tignan kung andun siya... e may telepono naman
ngeee!!!!
hope you guys liked it... hehehe
nothing is corny guys, just post them away here heheh.. Para naman mabuhay itong forums natin=) |
|
|
| Re : |
Posted by :
imthegirl |
| February 18, 2009 03:23:15 PM |
Location :
Unknown |
may 3 women na napunta sa heaven
san pedro: isa lang ang rule d2..bwal 2mapak sa ducks
pagpasok nla..madami nga ducks
nakatapak ng duck ung woman1, dumating c san pedro dala ang very ugly guy tapos pinagsama cla 4ever
after 3 days...nakatapak ng duck ung woman2, dumating ulit c san pedro w/ another very ugly guy at pinagsama cla 4ever
2magal ngmaraming months at hndi pa nkakatapak ng duck c woman3
one day, pinuntahan xa ni san pedro na may ksamang very handsome guy at pinagsama cla 4ever
woman3: wat did i do 2 deserv dis?
handsome guy: ewan ko sau..basta ako nakatapak ng duck
gets nio ba?? wahaha |
|
|
| Re : |
Posted by :
imthegirl |
| February 18, 2009 03:24:41 PM |
Location :
Unknown |
WAYS TO ANNOY YOUR ROOMMATE
* Switch the sheets on your beds with the next door neighbors.
* Twitch a lot.
* Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep.
* Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them.
* Walk and talk backwards.
* Spend all your money on Jolt Cola. Drink it all.
* Ask your roommate if your family can move in "just for a couple of weeks."
* Buy as many back issues of Field and Stream as you can. Pretend to masturbate while reading them.
* Smile. All the time.
* Collect dog !@#$ in baby food jars. Sort them according to what you think the dog ate.
* Hide a bunch of potato chips and Ho Hos in the bottom of a trash can. When you get hungry, root around in the trash. Find the food, and eat it. If your roommate empties the trash before you get hungry, demand that she/he reimburse you.
* Paste boogers on the windows in occult patterns.
* Shoot rubber bands at your mate while his/her back is turned, and then look away quickly.
* Hide your underwear and socks in your roommate's closet. Accuse him/her of stealing it.
* Whenever your roommate walks in, wait one minute and then stand up and announce that you are going to take a shower. Do so. Keep this up for three weeks.
* Paint your half of the room black. Or paisley.
* Whenever he/she is about to fall asleep, ask questions that start with, "Didja ever wonder why...." Be creative.
* Always flush the toilet three times.
* Buy a copy of Weird Al Yankovic's "Pennsylvania Polka," and play it at least 6 hours a day. If your roommate complains, explain that it's an assignment for your primitive cultures class.
* Listen to radio static.
* Cover one of the walls with polaroids of fire hydrants from all over the city. Tell your roommate that you think that you were a dog in a former life. Stare lovingly at the photos, and make frequent trips to the bathroom.
* Get a small, battery-operated clock which ticks very loudly. Put it in a briefcase and put the briefcase next to your mate's bed.
* Expound upon the importance of good personal hygiene. Wear rubber gloves and a surgical mask in the room.
* Eat an entire bag of cheese curls at once. When you are finished, see how many times you can make orange fingerprints from all of the cheese junk left on your fingers.
* Walk around in circles all the time. Complain that your turn signal is stuck. |
|
|
| Re : |
Posted by :
imthegirl |
| February 18, 2009 03:25:34 PM |
Location :
Unknown |
ahahah... just get it going guys...
happy Happy thrEAd this is! |
|
|
| Re : |
Posted by :
Amerah |
| August 06, 2009 11:54:56 AM |
Location :
Marawi City |
Husband says; "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me".
Wife replied; "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!" |
|
|
| Re : |
Posted by :
Amerah |
| August 06, 2009 11:58:34 AM |
Location :
Marawi City |
Want to hear two short jokes and a long joke?
Joke. Joke. Joooooooooooooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkke. |
|
|
| Re : |
Posted by :
Amerah |
| August 06, 2009 12:06:06 PM |
Location :
Marawi City |
Ol' Fred had been a religious man who was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them. As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on.
The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died. The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.
At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realised that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred died.
He said, "You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all."
He opened the note, and read out loud, "Hey, you're standing on my oxygen tube?"
Siya pala ang dahilan kong bakit siya namatay?! Tsssk,tsssktsssk... ^^_ |
|
|
| Re : |
Posted by :
Guest |
| January 10, 2010 07:22:36 PM |
Location :
Unknown |
|
sana pag-pasinsiya han ninyo ang mga student's sa S.L.C. at wag ninyong masyaddong pagalitan ang mga bata kac hindi nla kau kinatatakotan. yonkang at maraming salamat po nag mamahal S.L.S student |
|
|
| Re : |
Posted by :
Guest |
| January 10, 2010 07:22:38 PM |
Location :
Unknown |
|
sana pag-pasinsiya han ninyo ang mga student's sa S.L.C. at wag ninyong masyaddong pagalitan ang mga bata kac hindi nla kau kinatatakotan. yonkang at maraming salamat po nag mamahal S.L.S student |
|
|
| Re : |
Posted by :
Guest |
| January 10, 2010 07:27:43 PM |
Location :
uncle kockz |
|
hnd naka2xtawa ang mga joke's ninyo kac hnd nang gagaling sa puso dapat kung gagawa kau ul8 ng joke ung galing sapuso. nag mamahal sir ali |
|
|
| Re : |
Posted by :
akiclady exclusive |
| May 29, 2010 12:59:16 AM |
Location :
Marawi City |
|
hAha, dun ako natawa s SLS student^^, |
|
|
| Re : |
Posted by :
akiclady exclusive |
| May 29, 2010 01:11:38 AM |
Location :
Marawi City |
let's see if this sounds funny to you^^,
SA BARKO--
(dumaan ang Ateneo student, hinulog ang laptop sa dagat.)
ngtanong ang intsik sa AKIC student...
intsik: bakit siya hulog laptop?
AKIC student: kasi maraming laptop sa school nila.
(dumaan ang La Salle student, hinulog ang cell phone sa dagat)
intsik: bakit siya hulog cellphone, mahal yun diba?
AKIC student: kasi mayayaman mga students dun, wala lang sakanila ang cellphones. Marami silang ganun.
(dumaan ang MSUan, hinulog niya sa dagat ung pair of slippers niya)
intsik: wak ikaw sabi tsinelas mayaman mga MSUan ha? ang tsinelas wla lang yan.
AKIC student: eh siyempre... pagpunta mo ng MSU campus, halos lahat naka slippers. Slippers ang marami Sila.
---
(my dumaang magandang dalaga, tinulak ng AKIC student)
intsik: harah! bakit ikaw turak babae?
AKIC student: eh marami nang ganyan sa AKIC eh..
hAha^^,
napangiti ao dun infairness. with matching taas kilay.. (mmm, pwede na) |
|
|
| Re : |
Posted by :
akiclady exclusive |
| May 29, 2010 01:14:30 AM |
Location :
Marawi City |
I originally hear this from from Mameta lexy:
Q1: anong bunga ang hindi nakakain?
A: eh cyempre bungang araw^^,
Q2: Anong isda ang dalawa ang ulo?
A: of course, ano paba eh di BULAD!
wEeeee...
i love it mameta^^,hAha.. |
|
|
| Re : |
Posted by :
kyle XV |
| July 13, 2010 12:55:59 PM |
Location :
Philippines |
|
Amera i liked your two short jokes and one long joooooooookeeeeeeeeeeee |
|
|
| Re : |
Posted by :
Jed |
| August 03, 2010 02:16:02 AM |
Location :
AKIC |
Malalim na Tagalog..
Q: Ano sa Filipino ang \'chair\'?
A: Salumpuwit!
Q: E ang \'wheelchair\'?
A: Salumpo!
Q: E ang \'arthritis\'?
A: Salompas!
Q: What about \'vinegar\'?
A: E di salumpia!
Q: Ano naman ang panty?
A: Salungguhit po!
Q. Bakit ang oyster ayaw ibigay and kanyang perlas?
A: Dahil ang oyster ay shellfish
Q: Anong hayop ang gumagamit ng bra?
A: Eh di Cobra!
Q: Anong hayop ang gumagamit ng panti?
A: Eh di Elepanti!
Q: Anong hayop ang gumagamit ng brief?
A: Eh di Bird! |
|
|
| Re : |
Posted by :
Jed |
| August 03, 2010 02:24:11 AM |
Location :
AKIC |
Inimbitahan ng isang imbestigador sa opisina ng NBI si Juan na walang trabaho pero buhay milyonaryo. Dumating si Juan kasama ang kanyang abogado sa NBI.
Imbestigador: Juan, pinatawag ka namin dito dahil naghihinala kaming isa kang drug trafficker at lider ng isang sindikato dahil nakapagtatakang namumuhay kang milyonaryo gayong ikaw ay walang tinapos at walang trabaho. Gusto naming malaman kung paano ka kumikita ng milyong milyong pera.
Juan: Sir, sa legal pong paraan kong kinikita ang aking mga pera. Sa pamamagitan po ng pustahan ako po ay kumikita ng daang daang libong piso. Kung gusto nyo po patutunayan ko sa inyo. Dodoblehen ko po ang sampung libo ninyo kung makakagat ko ang aking kanang mata.
Imbestigador: Imposibleng makagat mo ang yong mata. Sige, call ako dyan.
Dinukot ni Juan ang kanyang pekeng mata sa kanan at kinagat. Nagulat naman ang imbestigador sa ginawa ni Juan.
Juan: Sir, dodoblehen ko po ang singkwenta mil ninyo kung pupusta kayong kaya kong kagatin ang aking kaliwang mata.
Imbestigador: Yan ang talagang imposible. Paano ka makakakita kung parehong peke ang dalawa mong mata. Call ako dyan!
Kinuha ni Juan ang kanyang pustiso at kinagat ang kaliwang mata. Mangingiyak ngiyak ang imbestigador sa ginawa ni Juan.
Juan: (Pumunta sa dulo ng dalawang metrong mesa ng imbestigador) Sir, dodoblehen ko po ang ang sandaang libo ninyo kung pupusta kayo na kaya kong umihi sa basurahan nyo na nasa kabilang dulo ng mesang ito mula rito sa kinatatayuan ko. Patutunayan ko sa inyo na di mababasa ng kahit isang patak ang mesa nyo.
Imbestigador: Pinatatawa mo ako, Juan. Iyan ang talagang imposible. Sigurado akong di ka na mananalo sa pustang yan. Kaya, call ako!
Umihi si Juan at dahil sa imposibleng abutin ng ihi niya ang basurahan sa kabilang dulo ng dalawang metrong mesa ay sinadya na lang nyang ihian ang mesa ng imbestigador. Napahalakhak ang imbestigador sa tuwa. Ngunit, tawa rin ng tawa si Juan.
Imbestigador: Eh bakit tawa ka pa nang tawa, eh talo ka na nga ng sandaang libo?
Juan: Sir, natutuwa po ako dahil nanalo po ako ng limang daang libong piso sa pustahan namin ng abogadong kasama ko. Nagpustahan po kami na ako ang mananalo kung kayo ay matutuwa kapag inihian ko ang mesa ninyo.
Abogado: Waaaahhhhh! |
|
|
| Re : |
Posted by :
Guest |
| August 10, 2010 01:50:01 PM |
Location :
akic |
lol... i give a perfect 100 for your nice jokes
natawa talaga ako...
congrats jed! |
|
|
|
|
MISCELLANEOUS
